On the quest to become a more positive person, can saying ‘yes’ lead to a more fulfilling life?
It was my birthday, so I was really quite pleased when she and her friends agreed to join us in the VIP area of the club. This Yes Man thing was starting to pay off…
Sitting in a drunkenly acquired private box in a club surrounded by four beautiful women, I was feeling pretty good about myself, probably like any man who when drunk, thinks he’s god’s gift to women… so it was more than likely that I actually looked like a desperate bloke with his tongue hanging out, panting like a puppy in a Pedigree factory.
Rewind two weeks and you’d have found me sitting in my room staring at an ever increasing workload, bored out of my face, wrapped in the cotton wool like monotony of routine. Needless to say my life was less than exciting; I needed something to spice things up a bit.
But when I stumbled upon the book ‘Yes Man,’ life suddenly took an unexpected upward turn.
The plot was simple. When the main character was posed with a question that required a yes or a no answer, he always had to say yes. This was perfect.
Now, obviously, it would have been impossible to say yes to absolutely everything, so I set a few parameters before undertaking the task: One, don’t say yes to anything that would get me arrested, maimed or unwillingly sexually harassed/assaulted. Two…well I guess anything else pretty much goes.
I also had the problem of my housemates trying to sabotage my new outlook on life by asking cleverly worded questions such as; ‘Will you buy me another drink?’ or ‘Will you go and get with that obese girl over there?’ To which I told them no and sod off…
During the first week I was asked to complete simple, more odious tasks created by my housemates. Tidying my housemate’s room was less than enjoyable. The unusual amount of tights I found could only be topped by the stale smell that came from his wank tissue filled bin…not the most fulfilling of starts. Yes 0, Life 1.
Ten cups of tea made and a cleaned kitchen later, I received a text from a friend in Nottingham inviting me to a house party. This was more like it! I replied with an overly enthusiastic ‘Yes!’ Alcohol and a house full of women, this could be the most productive ‘yes’ yet.
The weekend of the house party had arrived and so, armed with a stash of vodka, condoms and a clean pair of pants, my housemates and I boarded the train to Nottingham.
The night began with the creation of ‘carnie cocktail,’ a mix of Asda value cider, Lambrini and port all diluted with dash of Cherryade. It would have made better paint stripper, the sort of drink tracksuit clad 15-year-olds drink down the park, a natural brain cell killer. “Do you want another drink?” my mate asked, to which I of course replied yes, several times.
By about one in the morning I was about as coherent as a one legged parrot developing a cataract, I’d lost one of my mates and the other had passed out on one of the beds. Despite this though, I had somehow managed to end up in bed with a very attractive girl whilst lying next to my sleeping mate… turns out he was awake the whole time. Yes 1, life 1.
After returning home I decided to do a bit of research into this yes business. According to Dr. Victoria Tischler, a lecturer in Behavioural Science at the University of Nottingham, “Saying ‘yes’ can often represent taking a risk by changing your situation or agreeing to do something different or extra, this, whilst anxiety-provoking in short term, can lead to new skills and thus build confidence and success in the longer term.” Well that can’t be bad then can it?
Week two had started to dry up in terms of ‘yes’ proposals so when my housemate proclaimed: “Would you like to come and see a gig in London with me, I’ve got a spare ticket going if you want it?” “Yes!” I jumped at the chance, a weekend in London could unlock endless ‘yes’ scenarios.
After an awesome gig, my mate received a text from a friend asking if we were up for coming out. 30 minutes later we were the other side of London with two very nice looking girls; this night was getting better and better! Yes 2, Life 1.
It was a Monday night so we weren’t really spoilt for choice, but we ended up in an ironically named rock club called ‘Punk’. There we stood in a half empty club, surrounded by bearded, slightly rotund metal fans who looked like they were the condom-less love creation of the Honey Monster and Courtney Love. Brilliant…
I later found myself stumbling down Tottenham Court Road in the early hours following my mate, whose brain had turned to yoghurt due to alcohol consumption, searching for a night bus. We walked to seven different bus stops stopping only once to get a burger. Next thing I know I’m being awoken by a bus driver who informed us that we had reached the last stop…brilliant, stuck on some road outside some dodgy looking flats, in the freezing cold at 3.30 in the morning, god bless 24 hour taxis. It wasn’t ideal but it was a hilarious experience. Yes 2, Life 2.
Becoming a Yes Man is definitely a worthwhile thing. While engaging in a variety of spontaneous activities, I have met a lot of new people and made a lot of memories, ahh the house party…
I have come to the conclusion though that there are two basic criteria you need to do it successfully. For starters you need to be single. That’s not to say taken or married men can’t try it, they just may have to set up a few more rules than I did at the start. Your girlfriend/wife will not buy the excuse that you had to say yes to the pretty girl in the black dress when she invited you home. Secondly, you need money, a fair amount of money too, although I may have a lot of hilarious anecdotes to tell down the pub, I can no longer afford to be in said pub. Then again if you want to be a really hard core yes man, I suppose you could say that that’s part of the fun, trying to find a ‘yes’ solution to having no money; good luck with that… and as a good, and surprisingly sober, friend once told me “You’ve gotta spend the cash to get the gash.”
According to Adrian 